Mind Games OHSHC Ch.18

My father always tells me to live life to its fullest potentials. Everyday should be an adventure, if you're the one leading the way. He told me that everyone isn't perfect, and that they all make mistakes they will regret someday. Because from those mistakes we've made, we will grow to learn to forgive ourselves for it. That is what Jamison Augustine, my father, had said to me nine years ago. It was also that night, December 24, 1995—when chaos had struck into my life.

"Sebastian, you shouldn't worry too much about me." Jamison had said reassuringly. "I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry that I'm worrying too much, dad." I apologize as I bit down my bottom lip.

For the past six moths, my father was diagnosing with heart cancer and no one knew about it until today. He ran his own business and dose stocking exchange for his job, and I admit that I was spoiled my father's wealth. But anyways, Jamison had collapses during his job and he was sent to the emergency room right away. That was when we discover that that disease is inside of him. His sickness had weaken his heart slowly as well had my own in sorrow and frustration for not knowing this sooner. The cancer had already taken its final stage, while I had watch helplessly at the pain my father was suffering. I felt so useless.

"You should go; it's already the time isn't it?" Jamison asks, while looking up at the clock.

I weakly nodded. "I don't think it's a good idea anymore. Your health is getting worst-"

My father's amusing laugh interrupts my sentences. Cold shiver ran down my spine as I watch him muster his most sincere smile. "Just go have fun. It is your party after all."

But father I couldn't. That's what I wanted to say, but I knew he wouldn't listen.

I was the pitcher for my baseball team at that time. With my accuracy and agility of throwing a curve ball, our team manages to win the championship. I was mainly focus on earning a scholarship, but things just never go as I plan. And tonight, during the winter's season, my team all had plan to throw a celebration at the "Plaine de Jeux du Polygon" stadium. I shouldn't have gone to that party that night like I've known now.

"Is everything alright?" Vladimir asks from behind the door.

"We're fine." My father said, as I turn halfway to face my older brother.

Vladimir Augustine is two years older than I. Our mother had passed away when she gave birth to me. At that time both my father and brother raise me to become a proficient young man I am today. Vladimir took in Jamison's appearance from our father's dark cropped hair and brown eyes, while I took both of our parents' looks from my father's hair and my mother's cobalt eyes.

Even though Vladimir and I are brothers, we are different in every way. For example, Vladimir is a type of man who loves to shower himself with attention, who swoon the ladies with his looks and cunning words. I on the other hand am the opposite, period. That's all that anyone needed to know.

"So are you coming or not, little bro?" Vladimir asks me, while I stare at him and then back at Jamison repeatedly.

Making a decision, I then turn around and fully face my brother." Give me few minutes."

Vlad nodded, and disappear behind the door. His footsteps could be herd when he walks down the stairs.

I turn my head half way to look back at my father. "I'll be back soon."

Jamison smiled. "Live life to its fullest."

After that, I walk out of the house and into the car with my brother. Vladimir drove us out of the Augustine resident, and towards the city of France. I let my eyes drift out the glass window of the car. Bits of white snowflakes streak across my view with the endless sky of gray clouds looming over us. A starless night with the brilliance of lights wash over Paris seems like a never-ending dream.

"Aren't you going to be cold with that thin outfit of yours?" My brother question, when he interrupted my thoughts.

"I'll be fine."

My clothes for the party consist of a thin white cotton collar sleeve shirt with black trouser, and black leather shoes. Over the shirt I wore a black vest and tie. On Vlad, he wore a light blue collar sleeve shirt, with black trouser, shoes, tie, and black overcoat. He even wore white gloves for formality. On his head, he wore a black laced fedora hat.

"Want to borrow my coat?" My brother presses on.

One of my eyes twitches in irritation. "No."

"But Sebby-"

"Don't call me that!" I snap at him, and he cowers back.

"Fine, but I'd warn you." Vladimir said cunningly, while wiggling his index finger at me. "If you catch a cold, I'll be saying "I told you so.""

I sigh, and mumble. "I can't believe this guy is my older brother."

"Hm, did you say something?"

"Nope, nothing at all." I smirk.

The party had run smoothly when we both arrive. The cool night breeze blew by when I open the passenger door. I watch as Vladimir had already got out of the car before me and ran himself through the crowd of familiar faces I knew. I smile and wave as I pass a couple of people in my baseball team and few that goes to our school. All in all, things seem to go smoothly, that is until I met Amy.

"Well hello there, handsome."

I barely knew the nineteen year old girl when she walks up to me. The things I knew about her is that she's one of the cheerleaders of our football team. None of them sparks my interest, so I let them be. Seems that I've left a wrong message when this girl who is three years older than I is now hitting on me.

"How about a drink?" She asks as kindly as she could, while she scooted herself next to me. I stare at her and then look down at the two soda can in her hands.

"Thanks." I said coolly, while accepting it. I'm not stupid when she gave me the soda that she had secretly mix alcohol into my drink. I could just smell it from her breath.

"Cheer." Amy had slurred her words, and expected me to drink with her. For a girl with such beauty, I couldn't help but smirk in amusement on how she's trying to get in bed with a sixteen year old. Drunk as she may be, she must know that I'm not that easy to fool. And I was right.

"Let's all celebrate this day of your birth, Sebastian." She announce, while I stare back at her in shock. My fingers were frozen to the can, while my eyes watch her gulp down her "soda."

"How did you-?"

My words were cut off when she places her lips on mine. I almost gag when she forced her drink from her mouth down to mine. I reacted fast enough when I push her away and choke out in disgust. Amy laughs whole heartedly, when I turn back around to glare at her.

I felt the banging inside my head at the overpower liquor entering my body, as my head started to spin with headache forming in my brain. I felt faint that I wanted to throw up. My vision was unfocused while I watching the humored Amy stood up from her seat, and walked away. I was short of breath, and stumbles against the chairs as I try to stand myself up right.

"W-what did that girl put in that drink of hers?" I hiss under my breath.

"Hey Sebastian, you got a phone call!" Someone calls from the crowd.

"I'll…I'll be there." I said tiredly; not sure if he got my reply.

It was a mistake to not have taken my cell phone with me, as I trudge my heavy legs to the lobby. A phone was place to the side of the machine, and waited for my arrival.

"Yes, Sebastian's speaking." I said, as I refocus myself as much as possible.

"Yes, well this is one of the nurses of Esquirol Hospital." She said.

My body flinches in reaction.

"Jamison Augustine was sent in by an emergency call from your household, and I think it was one of your workers, Nancy was it?"

"Yes, please go on." My voice was barely above a whisper.

"He's in the ER right now, Sebastian." She said as slowly and calmly as she could on the other line. "It seems that your father isn't going to make-"

Click.

"Hello, hello? Are you still there Sebastian?"

The phone had slip out of my hands when I ran through the crowd to find my brother. I didn't want to here what she wants to finish saying, I didn't want it to be true.

"Brother!" I holler, while catching Vladimir attention across the room. He must have seen the distress in my eyes when I ran up to him. I added quickly. "Give me your keys, now."

"But why?" He said, while handing the keys to me. "What's wrong, what happen?"

"I should have never left him alone!" I hollered, and cuss under my breath. Tears of frustration were forming in his eyes. "He's in the hospital, Vlad, and it's my entire fault."

"Then what are you standing here for?" Vlad said quickly, and also in a state of shock. He grabs a white envelop from his back pocket and places it in my hand on top of the car key. "Go, I'll be there soon. I've got some doctors phone calls to make."

I nodded in understanding, and rush through the crowd, and into the car. I slip the keys into the ignition and slam on the gas, and head towards the hospital. The snow turns deadly with cold fogs scattering around the road. I couldn't see as I was driving blind with car lights passing by on the opposite side of the road. My head throb at the unexpected pain from the liquor. My eyes were more focus than my brain, and my body was shaken by the drive of the adrenaline rush.

"Ugh…" I moan at the throbbing of my head. I gritted my teeth as I struggle to focus my senses.

I was speeding pass the cars on the four lane road, in turn I calculate it was seventeen minutes from where I was at. It could be less than ten minutes if I'm going as fast as I am now. Half way there as I was driving pass Lake Lac des Minimes, when I notice the white envelope my brother had handed to me on the passenger seat. My eyes slightly soften at the thoughtfulness at his gift.

Thanks for giving me my driver's license, Vlad. I thought.

The sound of a car honking at me breaks my attention back at the invisible road. My arms reacted fast enough when I had drifted to the wrong side of the road, and the car that went the opposite direction turns its wheel opposite as mine. My heart instantly stops three seconds when I herd that car plunge itself into unfrozen pool of water.

"Oh no…"

I turn my wheels and park the car on the side of the road, while I race out of the car, run across the road and the next thing I knew, I dove under after the sinking vehicle. I felt frozen to the bones as cold water stabs and bites into my skin, but I kept on swimming after the car.

I spotted the driver, and notice that it was man around twenty-six years old as he struggling on unbuckling his seatbelt, and try to escape. I grab his attention when I banged my fist against his door window while he stares at me in shock.

"Help me." His lips had moved in silent language.

I pull and pull on the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. The water was filling up the car inside, and my lungs were running out of oxygen. I knew that if I go back up, I wouldn't have a chance to get back to him as the car sinks deeper into the lake.

Then I heard the small click. It was barely audible, when the door cracked itself open, but it was fully. I knew that if I pull hard one more time, this man right in front of me would be free and safe. I was ready to pull with the last breath I had when something grabs me from behind, and pulls me away from the car.

My lungs choke out to scream in protest when water was swallowed in instead. I felt my eyes grew faint when my body was being lifted towards the surface. I watch with half open alarmed eyes when I see the man still in the car screaming inside for rescue. His terrified brown eyes were the last thing I saw when I came above surface and cough up water, and wanting air.

"I got him!" Someone yells from behind me as I felt someone lifted my body out of the water.

"Hey kid, are you alright?" That same voice asks, as my eyes slowly open up. The moment a saw a stranger in front of me, my mind set back to the man in the car.

"Where is the other guy in the water?" I question in alarm.

"Is there someone else down there?" The man asks in shock.

My anger sets in as I grab a fistful of his shirt, and pulls him closer to my face. "You fool! I wasn't the one you should be rescuing! There's still a man down still there inside his car drowning!"

"What? You herd him men, go back down there now!" The man in front of my commanded the people behind him, and they all responded by diving into the lake.

"I have to go back down there." I said quickly, and try to stand back up when the man pushes me back down.

He shook his head. "You're too weak in this state."

"It was my fault that he's down there!" I sneer.

"Don't be an idiot." The man stated. "You'll die from hypothermia."

My body reacted when his words hit me. My mind didn't feel the sudden chill of the wind, the snow, or the numbness of my fingers until now when the temperature shaken me. My hair was dripping from the icy water while my damp clothes clung against my frigid skin.

"Let me take him from here." A lady spoke up from behind the man, while she walks up to me and wraps a blanket around my shoulders. She help me stood up, while leading me to the head car.

"It's best for your body to not take in the heater yet." She whispers soothingly. I look up at her. "Everything will be fine."

I pray that her words were right. I thought, while my eyes started to drift to a sleepless dream.

I didn't know how long I've been unconscious as I open my eyes, while I let it refocus itself to an unfamiliar room. The small space was cold, white, and noiseless with just me lying down across a tin mattress bed. Across the room, I notice my clothes was hung, and was already dried out.

I got out of the bed, and change back into my regular clothes as I examine the room once more. It seems that I've been transfer to a hospital, but which one?

"Hospital." I said, and then remembered. I quickly open the door and dash through the hallways. "Father."

I rush to what looks like the lobby, and went up to the counter where a nurse was keeping herself busy with crossword puzzles.

"Excuse me." I said breathlessly, as she looks up at me. "What hospital is this?"

"It's Esquirol Hospital."

"What room is Jamison Augustine in?" I ask quickly.

"I-it's upstairs, room 107." She stutters, while I nodded in thanks, and rushes to the elevator, and presses the up button multiples of times. Five seconds later, I ran out of patients for the elevator to come down, so I just run for the stairs.

"101, 102, 103…" I counted while I ran through the empty hallway. As I pass room 104, my feet came into a sudden halt, and my body froze in that spot. Room 104's door was open wide, and from the slight image I saw when I pass was a familiar face I notice laying on the bed. It was that man in the drowning car.

My feet move itself backwards, as I press my back against the wall next to the room. Within the room, I herd a small silent cry of a child younger than I. My heart pounded against my chest, as I peek into the room. My face went pale as a ghost.

"Please daddy, wake up!" The little girl begs as she cries. She also had those same emerald eyes as her fathers'. I watch as her mother stood behind her and wraps her arms around her child.

"Please….come back, please…"

My eyes couldn't take the scene anymore. My heart throb in agony, as pain and guilt envelope me. At the brick of burning tear, and at the edge of insanity, I couldn't quite understand why all of this was happening to me. I've seen enough as I force my body to move away from the room 104. And still, that little girl's cry echo through my brain.

What have you done…

Those words kept repeating in my head over and over like a curse. It was haunting, it was devastating. It was those taunting, powerful words that swallow me whole.

My eyes grew cold as I reach for the doorknob of room 107, when someone's hand was place on top of my shoulder. My head turn to see Vladimir.

He shook his head. "It's best for you to not see."

What have you done….

My eyes grew wide in horror. I didn't listen to his words as I twist the doorknob, and stood still at the front entrance. My body flinches back, as I looked away as I squeeze my eyes shut.

"No…." I whisper. I felt my throat tighten. "This can't be happening to me."

"Sebastian."

"NO!" I yell, while falling to my knees in defeat. I felt the wet tears streaking down from my face. It was that day when my world came crashing down. Nothing could change that day as the silent snow falls down upon the two lives that were taken from me and that little girl who I now knew her as Alexandria Kinmichi.

What have I done….?

I knew what I've done on that day, my birthday and Christmas Eve. On December 24, 2003, Jamison Augustine and Nicholas Kinmichi had died because of me. I am the sinner. I was the one who took their lives away.

It was me…and no one else.

I couldn't help myself as I chuckle darkly, "What I have done was the unspeakable."